The great Joan Guerin: 1944 to 2022

My late aunt Joan Guerin

This year has so far been a tough year for my family.   

Just weeks after we lost Janis Murray (the youngest sister of my mother Dianne), my aunt Joan Guerin, the younger sister to my late father Fred, passed away in Peterborough, Ontario.  

Joan struggled for years with health issues, her heart finally failing on April 5th, 2022.  

Joan had one of the sharpest minds I had ever encountered and I was proud to call her my aunt.  A lawyer by training, she spent a career building a family law practise in Peterborough, Ontario.  

In recent years, she reminded me greatly of my late father, in physical mannerisms, in outlook, in humour, in intellect, and in spirit.  One of the few women in the Guerin family, she never married, but devoted her time to her extended family, including her many nephews, as well as friends, clients, and colleagues.    

Joan was also political and a bit of a NDP supporter in a family of mostly Liberals.  It made for interesting conversations over the years, and we shared many values.  While months or sometimes even years could go by between our conversations, the bond she built with me, as she did with all of her nephews, was strong.  

I was honoured when she asked me, plus another cousin, Marc Guerin, along with a longtime friend and colleague Suzanne Essex, to be the three co-executors on her will.  

"But there won't be much money left to distribute," she joked to me years ago.  "I intend to spend my money!"  

Sadly, my dear cousin Marc, who was only a couple of months older than me, lost his own battle with cancer in February 2021.  

Thus, Suzanne and myself have been working away since April 5th making plans for Joan's celebration of life and doing the work that goes with these responsibilities.  Thank you to my older brother David who's given me good advice on these important duties.  

With the help of family, I'm proud of the obituary we've written for Joan, which is posted on the website for Comstock-Kaye funeral home in Peterborough.  This Saturday April 23rd, we will follow Joan's wishes and bury her ashes at the same cemetery plot where her late parents were buried in Peterborough.  And soon thereafter, family, friends and former colleagues will gather to celebrate her life.  

I've been reflecting on losing two fabulous women in our families in so short of a time.  While we had some expectations the losses were coming, it nevertheless saddens.  I've only begun to process these events, and I expect I'll continue to do so for months and years.  But I also want to celebrate their great lives.  

These women were awesome!  Some would call them "kick-ass".  They set their own courses in life and lived them to the fullest.  They were inspirations.  They taught us how to do it.  

Thank you, Joan, for everything you did for our family!  I love you and will miss you!  

My official list of Favourite Films of 2021

Spider-Man hotties Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire
together in one multiverse

The Oscars this Sunday will provide a bit of fun and distraction amid these otherwise trying times.   

I'm happy to finally share my official list of Favourite Films of 2021.   I'll be happy if I surprise you a bit.  

1. Spider-Man: No Way Home - This may strike some people as not very high-minded of me, but I'm going with my heart.  This was the best Spider-Man movie ever.  It beautifully pays tribute to all previous Spider-Man movies with tender thoughtfulness.  The scenes with Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire were so enjoyable, the tragic twists of the plot highly moving, including the bittersweet yet appropriate ending.  I have such love for Marvel movies, this one will be played again by me over and over for years to come.  Lots of fulfilling and emotional themes here elevate the work beyond a typical super hero movie.

2. The Power of the Dog - Beautiful scenery, astonishing acting, haunting music, sensational filmmaking all around.  This sly story about a young man who goes to great lengths to protect his mother from a complicated, alpha-male anti-hero is a fascinating one, even if the characters are mostly repulsive or odd.  

3. CODA - If you're not into great super hero movies or odd character studies, chances are you'll love this movie about a teenage girl, the only hearing member of a deaf family, who is surprised to discover after joining her school’s choir that she has astonishing, natural singing talent.  This is a beautiful film.  Troy Kotsur deserves his many awards for his hilarious gem of a performance.    

4. The Lost Daughter - I luxuriated in the serene world of this film and often wished I could be on the same beach as Olivia Colman’s character, when she was alone at least.  Astonishing directorial debut here by Maggie Gyllenhaal.

5. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings - Exciting, wondrous, sexy, hilarious. I’ve watched it about six or seven times since its release last summer.  Yes, I love good Marvel movies, as you can see.  

6. Belfast - Very touching and timely tale about a family struggling amid the early troubles of Northern Ireland.

7. Don't Look Up - That final scene with Meryl Streep is the stuff of comedy legend.  I’ll say no more. 

8. No Time To Die - They saved Daniel Craig’s second best Bond flick for last.

9. West Side Story - Very entertaining and accomplished re-imagining of the 60s classic.

10. Cruella - Colourful and engaging new classic!! 

11. King Richard

12. The Tragedy of Macbeth 

13. Being the Ricardos

14. Licorice Pizza

15. Dune 

16. Passing

17. The Eternals

18. Mountain Lodge

19. Tick Tick...Boom! 

20. Black Widow

21. Chaos Walking

22. Fisherman

23. Boy Meets Boy

24. Fear Street: Part One - 1994

25. Seaspiracy

26. I Carry You With Me

27. In The Heights

2021 FILMS I HAVEN'T SEEN BUT STILL WANT TO SEE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, in order of preference: 

The Eyes of Tammy Faye 

The King's Man

Nightmare Alley

Spencer

Drive My Car 

Cyrano

Scarborough 

Night Raiders

Respect

Fear Street: Part Two - 1978

Fear Street: Part Three - 1666

Last Night in Soho 

Benediction

Mothering Sunday

OTHER 2021 FILMS I SAW WHICH UNDERWHELMED ME, in alphabetical order:

Moffie

Sequin in a Blue Room

Voyagers

The fabulous Janis Murray: 1955 to 2022

Jan and me at my 40th b-day party

My aunt and dear friend Jan Murray passed away today after a long battle with cancer.  I took the time a couple of weeks ago to write a love letter to her:

Dear Jan, 

We’ve shared a lot of beautiful memories of good times together.  

My absolute favourite story you’ve ever told is the occasion in the mid-1970s when you were living in Guelph while attending university.  We also lived in Guelph, where my mom and dad met and eventually married in 1967.  In 1972, the year I was born, our family moved into a home on Eleanor Court in the city’s north end.  You must’ve started at University of Guelph probably in 1973 or 1974, although you were living elsewhere in town.  But you visited us often on Eleanor Court.  

One day, my mom Dianne, your eldest sister, had driven you back to your student apartment (I think somewhere near Water and Gordon Streets?) after one such visit to our home.  Mom brought two or three-year-old me along for the ride and I was buckled up tightly into a kid’s chair in the backseat.  If I was three, it would’ve been 1975.  

Now as we know, you and my mom could talk.  You had long, beautiful conversations your whole lives.  And that day was no different.  Mom’s car pulled up to drop you off at your student apartment, but of course there was still more to talk about.  So you both kept on talking about whatever was on your minds that afternoon.  I was no doubt unhappy about being tied to a chair and stuck in the backseat.  I’m not sure what time of year it was, so no telling if it was a warm Guelph day.  But as you can imagine, three-year-old me was getting impatient.  

I must’ve finally deduced that the delay I was experiencing getting out of this baby seat was due to the fact that Mom and you were still talking in the front seat.  And that relief would only come for me after you finally got out of the car so we could drive back home and I could be released from this bondage. 

So little three-year-old me blurted out, “Jan, get out.”

You told me you and Dianne looked back at me and then broke into uproarious laughter.  No doubt, my protestation probably brought the adult conversation that afternoon to a swift end and you took your exit to resume another week of studies.  Mom drove me home and released me from the backseat.  

Jan, you told this hilarious story again and again over the decades.  Every time I introduced you to new people in my life, or you introduced me to people in your life, you mentioned this hilarious story about the impatient toddler who told you to “Get out” of the car.  And I loved each and every time you told it.  

But you didn’t really get out of the car, did you?  You stuck around, metaphorically speaking of course, and my life and the lives of our whole family, the lives of everyone you ever met, were enriched and made more beautiful because of you.   

Jan, when I think of you, I think of: 

• Joie de vivre

• Passion

• Great style

• Hard-work

• Studiousness

• Perseverance

• An open heart

• Strength

• Street-smarts 

• Wisdom

You embraced the most cosmopolitan of lives in Toronto as an adult.  When I was a teenager, I always looked up to you and was inspired by the example you gave.  You often mentioned your “gay buddies” as early as the 1980s.   Your presence and your example gave me hope as a closeted teen.  It showed me a way forward in the family, that a happy life could be possible.  You were talking about gay people living happy lives whom you called “friends”.  That meant so much to me in those days.  

Over the years, you became a dear friend, a confidant, someone I knew had my back and would always listen.  I have tried to be that friend and confidant back for you.  We’ve shared so many glasses of wine or delicious meals together.  Maybe too much wine on occasion, but who cares?  We were having fun!   We’ve sat through so many amazing movies or had so many great conversations about the world we’re living in.  

You joined our family for every holiday event you could attend.  We’d often meet up in downtown Toronto or in Mississauga and you’d give me a drive to Guelph or Cambridge.  Sometimes I’d pay for the gas, sometimes I’d pay with a bottle of wine we’d enjoy at the festivities, but often you simply accepted no payment.  You were so generous and loving.  You became a staple of my life and of our family.  You made our world bigger than it was because of all you brought to the table.  

I related to your struggles in life, as I shared them.  Even though we are of different generations, we came from the same family and were facing the same challenges of modern times.  We had each other to turn to.  Thank you for all the listening and advice you’ve given me.  I hope I’ve been able to give you a modicum of what you have given me.   

There are too many memories and occasions to count that brought such joy.  Some that stand out as I write this: 

• Your absolutely adorable crush on Chris Pratt.  The way you swooned when you first laid eyes on that hunky actor in Guardians of the Galaxy brought such a smile to my face and everyone else in the room at the time.  Yes, you have very good taste in men.   It was so much fun watching you swoon again when we watched Chris Pratt in Jurassic World in Montreal last year.  

• I also remember the relaxing drinks we enjoyed at the open window bistro in old Montreal this past June.  

• The time you insisted I read out loud my entire first screenplay for you. 

• The time we went off to New York state to attend the wedding shower for a gay buddy of yours marrying an American.  We enjoyed the house party, but nothing was more entertaining than the karaoke performances we saw later that night at the bar next to our hotel.  We didn’t sing ourselves because we understand the limitations of our talents, unlike most of the folks who got behind the microphone that night.   But man, some of those folks were awesome to watch.   

   

There are too many memories to count.  I cherish them all. 

Every room you entered was made brighter, more fun and more full of love because you arrived. 

Yes, I am very glad that you “didn’t get out of the car” after all.   You stayed with us and changed all of our lives.  

With love,
Matt  

My Favourite Films of 2021? Still thinking about it... ;-)

***UPDATED March 6, 2022 **** As I watch more 2021 films, I'll move them up if I love them.  Please expect a new post on my Top Favourites before Oscar Night. *****

I've always enjoyed compiling my list of Favourite Films each year.   Before COVID, it was easy for me to check out many new films long before the end of the year by attending film festivals or heading often to movie theatres.  Nowadays, the release of some films on streaming services like Netflix partially makes up for the loss the festivals and open movie theatres during lock down. 

But I'm still far behind in my viewing of the biggest films of 2021.  Furthermore, I'm also hesitant to come out with my big list too soon because I have found that my thoughts on my favourite films evolve over time.  The test of time for me is to acknowledge which of my favourite films I actually watch over and over again because they excite me and deliver each time.  That's not something you can know from one viewing.  It takes months to acknowledge which Blu-ray I'm turning on again and again (I always buy Blu-rays of my favourites.)  

For instance, I went back to my 2020 favourites list and changed it again.  Of my favourites that year, I continually go back and re-watch Christopher Nolan's masterpiece Tenet, for which I have the Blu-ray.  My initial top choice of that year was Supernova, a perfectly romantic and nuanced story which I continue to admire.  But its subject matter and style don't make for enjoyable repeat viewings.  So I moved it down to my third choice for 2020, below the stunning Promising Young Woman, a film I have watched multiple times as its awesome rhythm and quality remain continually enjoyable (despite its dark subject matter.)

So I'm going to think long and hard about the films of 2021 before I come up with any kind of final list of favourites.   And again this year, I still have so many acclaimed movies even to see for the first time.   I imagine I will come up with a final list before this March's Oscars.  

In the mean time, I'm going to simply list the 2021 films I've seen so far which I would consider to be major contenders for my heart or my Top Ten, in alphabetical order so as not to preempt my own deliberations.  This is tentative, of course, as there are many other 2021 films I still need to see.  

TOP 10 FILMS OF 2021 I'VE SEEN SO FAR, in alphabetical order (updated March 6, 2022): 

Belfast

CODA

Don't Look Up

King Richard

The Lost Daughter

No Time To Die

The Power of the Dog

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

Spider Man: No Way Home

West Side Story

OTHER 2021 FILMS I'VE SEEN WHICH I ENJOYED AS WELL, in alphabetical order:

Being the Ricardos

Boy Meets Boy

Black Widow

Chaos Walking

Cruella

The Eternals

Fear Street: Part One - 1994

Fisherman (extremely sexy short gay film)

I Carry You With Me

Licorice Pizza

Mountain Lodge

Passing

Seaspiracy

Tick Tick...Boom! 

The Tragedy of Macbeth

2021 FILMS I STILL WANT TO SEE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, in order of preference: 

The Eyes of Tammy Faye 

Spencer

The King's Man

Cyrano

Nightmare Alley

Drive My Car 

Respect

Scarborough 

Night Raiders

Fear Street: Part Two - 1978

Fear Street: Part Three - 1666

Last Night in Soho 

Benediction

Mothering Sunday

OTHER 2021 FILMS I SAW WHICH UNDERWHELMED ME, in alphabetical order:

Dune

In The Heights

Moffie

Sequin in a Blue Room

Voyagers

My film "The Big Snore" plays at Seattle Queer Film Festival this weekend...

Still from my short film 'The Big Snore'

I am thrilled to announce here that my short film, The Big Snore, is programmed to screen at the wonderful Seattle Queer Film Festival, which started yesterday with both in person and online screenings (for those within their geo-block area of Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Alaska states) and runs until October 24th.

The Big Snore plays in the festival's Boys Shorts program which happens in person tomorrow, October 16th, at noon Seattle time. Here's the link to that shorts program.

I hadn't expected any more festival screenings for my film, so this was supremely awesome news.

I want to extend a special thank you to the festival's Boys Shorts programmers, Telved Devlet and Ryan Crawford, who selected my flick. I joined them plus a handful of other filmmakers in the program for a virtual Q&A session that is now available on YouTube (video embedded below).

Also thanks to my distributor, the Canadian Filmmakers Distribution Centre, which got me this screening!!!

The film is also available to screen anywhere in the world via the gay streaming service Dekkoo.

Check out the trailer on the top right side of this blog screen, if you haven't seen it already.

YouTube removes award-winning gay short film 'The Golden Pin' for violating its 'child safety policy', then reverses its decision

I've often complained that it seems YouTube, especially in recent years, suppresses queer content, mistreating it to a lower standard than it does equivalent mainstream content.  

But this week, I've seen the worst: my award-winning short film 'The Golden Pin', which has garnered 3.6 million views on YouTube since it was posted there in summer 2012, was suddenly taken down by YouTube, claiming, "it violates our child safety policy."  

This was the determination made by YouTube's algorithms nine years after the video had been posted!  

Wrote YouTube in an email to me:

"We realize this may be disappointing news, but it's our job to make sure that YouTube is a safe place for all. If you think we've made a mistake, you can appeal this decision - you'll find more details below.  As mentioned, we've removed your content because we think it violates our Community Guidelines. You can find specific information about these guidelines in the YouTube Help Center."

How does YouTube define its Child Safety Policy on its Community Guidelines page?  

"Content that targets young minors and families but contains sexual themes, violence, obscene, or other mature themes not suitable for young audiences, is not allowed on YouTube.  YouTube doesn’t allow content that endangers the emotional and physical well-being of minors." 

It goes on to say that content that contains the sexualization of minors, harmful or dangerous acts involving minors, infliction of emotional distress on minors, misleading family content, or cyberbullying and harassment involving minors will not be allowed on YouTube under its child safety policy.  

If you've seen 'The Golden Pin' (which is available to view in full on the right,) you're probably confused how that film could be accused by any rational entity as endangering minors.  The content did not target minors, it targeted all audiences.  The YouTube listing since 2012 simply didn't ban minors from watching it because there was nothing in it inappropriate for those under 18, we believe.  And for nine years, it's been on their platform. 

The film depicts a closeted young gay Asian man who's torn between the expectations of his family who want him to marry a woman, and his gay lover.  It is a heart-felt, sensuous, thoughtful piece that won the Best Canadian Short award at the 2009 Inside Out Festival.  It is tame and offers little more than a kiss, in terms of physical action.  The themes are mature, but deal mostly with coming to terms with living an honest life, and finding acceptance and love in surprising places.  Nothing that could be considered as dangerous to child safety, in my opinion.  In fact, the film's depiction at the time of a young Asian man struggling with his sexuality was groundbreaking. 

I, of course, appealed this ridiculous decision, as I have appealed all previous bad decisions by YouTube against my videos. 

I wrote to YouTube this week: "Once again, your artificial bigotry algorithms have unfairly implemented homophobia.  YouTube has consistently removed innocuous gay content even though it presented harmless stories and characters that wouldn't rate anything higher than PG-13. Your anti-gay discrimination flagging this award-winning film about a young closeted Asian gay man is insulting.  Children who are destined to grow up gay, especially in Asian cultures, need representation to know they aren't alone in the world.  Your pathetic policies on YouTube, by flagging most gay content as a threat to 'child safety' denies youth needed representation and promotes homophobia. Shame on you.  This film has over 3.6 million views since it was uploaded in 2012.  The people have spoken. If you don't correct this error, YouTube is more homophobic than your A.I." 

Then today, a response from YouTube: 

 

"After taking another look, we can confirm that your content does not violate our Community Guidelines. Thanks for your patience while we reviewed this appeal. Our goal is to make sure content doesn't violate our Community Guidelines so that YouTube can be a safe place for all - and sometimes we make mistakes trying to get it right. We're sorry for any frustration our mistake caused you, and we appreciate you letting us know.  To make this right, your content has been reinstated."  

Sadly, this wasn't the first of my videos to be unfairly taken down by YouTube, forcing me over and over to appeal to get them back up.  The trailer to my new short film 'The Big Snore' (viewable on the top right of this blog) was repeatedly rejected from a YouTube advertising campaign for being "indecent", only to be reinstated after I appealed again and again.  

The artificial intelligence algorithms running YouTube are designed to highlight and promote anything that gets a lot of likes and attention.  And suppress things that get bad reactions from (some in) the mainstream, no matter how niche and vibrant the sub-market.  And as I've seen, completely remove content using bogus 'community guidelines' that always seem to determine queer content is "offensive." 

I'm not alone in my dissatisfaction against YouTube, which is facing lawsuits for its unfair discrimination against LGBTQ content creators.   

This investigation showed advertising-keyword blocklists like those maintained by YouTube are preventing the discovery of content about LGBTQ issues and the Black Lives Matter movement.

If true, that would definitely explain how LGBTQ content on my own channel has seen its views and revenues drop in recent years.  

It used to be that using a title like "Gay short film 'The Golden Pin'" could garner thousands of viewers seeking queer content and decent revenue.  That doesn't happen anymore.  

'The Golden Pin' earned 1.5 million views and over $1,600 CAD in its first year on YouTube.  In fact, today it now has 3,618,349 views and has earned almost $4,000 CAD.  

But YouTube changed its policies at some point after 2014 or so to keep more revenue for itself and its shareholders, and not run ads on most queer content.   Ad revenues on 'The Golden Pin' now are way down. 

My first short film as a director 'Tri-Curious' was released on YouTube in 2017 and also received 1.6 million views in its first year.  However, its ad revenues were only $189 CAD.   I've since taken 'Tri-Curious' off YouTube in order to license it to Dekkoo Films, a streaming service targeting gay men which actually pays filmmakers for their work, unlike YouTube. 

The situation was so discouraging, I didn't bother to post my latest short film 'The Big Snore' in its entirety on YouTube at all.  I couldn't bear the inevitable removals and declarations of "indecency" from YouTube, forcing me to appeal and appeal to keep my content on their site, just for what would be a pittance of views forced by YouTube's algorithms designed to make sure no one could find it (without launching an advertising campaign that would also probably be repeatedly rejected as "indecent" by those same algorithms.)   

So now 'The Big Snore' is only available on Dekkoo. 

I know that YouTube also targets other content such a far-right Christian and hate groups from posting content on its platform.  I agree there are legitimate reasons why some content should be removed in order to protect minors.  

But the net being cast by YouTube's algorithms is snagging innocuous queer content unfairly, including my own.  

'The Golden Pin' is not the queer equivalent to a far-right piece of hate propaganda targeting racial minorities or spreading misinformation about Covid.  

The latter examples should be taken down.  My film should be celebrated and keep the platform it deserves. 

There is no doubt in my mind now that artificial intelligence systems like those being used by YouTube are learning the worst of human prejudices to make decisions and all minority groups, including the LGBTQ community, must beware. 

Canadian Media Guild local at CBC Toronto Has A Long History Of Celebrating Pride

CMG volunteers in 2014 World Pride parade

Happy Pride Month to everyone!

As some of you may know already, I have been volunteering for a few years as Treasurer on the Location Executive Committee at CBC Toronto for the Canadian Media Guild (CMG).   I've been very happy to put my principles into action and work on behalf of my colleagues.   

This year, Covid-19 has again prevented public gatherings to celebrate Pride.   That includes for our local union, which has a history of celebrating this festive season.   

I posted this piece today on the local CMG website.   I'm happy to provide a link to it here as well.  Here's an excerpt: 

"This June marks Pride Month across Canada and in many parts of the world.  It's a month to celebrate the history, courage, and diversity of the 2SLGBTQ+ community, of which I am proud to be a member... 

"Our CBC Toronto location unit of the Canadian Media Guild has a long history of joining in this celebration...   

"Prior to the pandemic, that included regularly participating in the annual Pride Parade in Toronto... 

"One of our biggest parade turnouts was in 2014 when Toronto hosted World Pride.  Many guild members will remember carrying our banner down Yonge Street on that hot day and later gathering together for food and drinks to celebrate...

"...Both the union and our employers must all do better to promote respect and inclusion and fight all forms of hatred and discrimination.  That awareness and determination must extend to the 2SLGBTQ+ community, both in terms of how we are treated and also how we treat each other...

"There's much more work to be done.  We will continue to do that work." 

Et en français aussi.

My favourite films of 2020 (UPDATED)

Still image from Tenet

UPDATE JANUARY 2022:  I have sometimes found that my thoughts on my favourite films evolve over time.  The test of time for me is to acknowledge which of my favourite films I actually watch over and over again because they excite me and deliver each time.  

I can often admire great films that floor me upon first viewing, but they might cease to inspire or excite me as much upon repeated viewings.  

So my new personal test is: do I want to want to watch this movie again and again and actually do enjoy it each time because the best films are those can be re-experienced over and over.   I now acknowledge those films are my favourites over time. 

Thus, I've had to go back and re-do my last "Favourite Films" of the year post from 2020.  Of my favourites that year, I continually go back and re-watch Christopher Nolan's masterpiece Tenet, now that I have the blu-ray.   My initial top choice of the year was Supernova, a perfectly romantic and nuanced story which I continue to admire.  But its subject matter and style don't make for enjoyable repeat viewings.  So I've moved it down to my third choice for 2020, below Promising Young Woman, a film I have watched multiple times as its awesome rhythm and quality remain continually enjoyable (despite its dark subject matter.) 

1: Tenet, Christopher Nolan's latest is also his most beautiful film.  If you're going to embrace a bizarre scientific premise in your story, this is how you do it.  It unfolds with little explanation and is confusing at first, but eventually I totally got into its rhythm before the end of the first viewing.  Subsequent viewings cemented my love for this film.  Oh and being able to stare at John David Washington and Robert Pattinson, not to mention a cast of other Nolan regulars, was a lot of fun.  

2: Promising Young Woman, make sure you know as little as possible about this film before you see it and its shock value will be most greatly experienced.  Unforgettable.  Very dark but as timely as it gets, putting center stage a tragedy all too familiar but never quite explored like this. 

3: Supernova, it could've easily been maudlin and melodramatic, but instead this is one of the most beautiful portraits of love I've seen in years, and the same sex nature of the central relationship between Colin Firth and Stanley Tucci is pretty much irrelevant to the restrained proceedings, such a breath of fresh air, stunning acting and cinematography.  Love wins my heart over more acclaimed, darker stuff. 

4: Nomadland, yes the hype is well-deserved, this moves at such a gentle, poetic, almost hypnotic pace, I was in awe and carried along.  Frances McDormand gives Prime Frances McDormand here and it's wonderful to behold. 

5: Sound of Metal, Riz Ahmed is sexy and perfect in this touching, deeply powerful portrait of an average guy/talented drummer who suddenly loses his hearing.  The sound editing is perfection.  I can't imagine a more compassionate and realistic portrait of something most of us would dread to experience.  A must watch.    

6: Minari, very cute, gentle, sweet, enjoyable experience watching a Korean family re-start their lives on a 1980s Arkansas farm, perfect performances from everyone. 

7: Judas and the Black Messiah, Daniel Kaluuya is mesmerizing in this, I could tell watching his power on screen that he'll probably be winning awards for this portrait of a natural born leader who takes his place in the Black Panther movement of the 1960s, only to be betrayed by a troubled FBI informant. 

8: Ma Rainey's Black Bottom, short and sweet, makes it point and then finishes, Chadwick Boseman is fabulous here as is Viola Davis. 

9: Palm Springs, Adam Samberg is great alongside co-star Cristin Milioti in this funny, and thought-provoking piece about a man and a woman (and one or two others we see) caught in a Groundhog Day-esque time loop.  I so needed this charmer during Covid Wave Three, thank you!  

10: Violation, dark, dark, dark, but strangely satisfying, its objectification of the naked male form, also the perpetrator in this story, was long overdue.  Perhaps I would've liked it more had I seen this after Promising Young Woman.   

And the rest in order of preference: 

Monsoon, a slow burn that really drew me in, a love letter to lost homelands, this story chronicles the beautiful Henry Golding's return to Vietnam, a place he left as a child with his family.  There, he enjoys a hot affair with the stunning Parker Sawyers.  Beautiful story, beautiful cinematography, beautiful men.  

One Night in Miami, impeccably polished, well-acted and written, it's fun being a fly on the wall listening to these conversations, although I wished for more actual drama.  

Mank, interesting, but not as interesting as I was hoping, and definitely not the sum of its parts.  David Fincher has done much more interesting films than this.  

The United States Vs. Billie Holiday, Andra Day along with the incredibly hot Trevante Rhodes of Moonlight fame are awesome in this biopic about the Jazz legend's struggles with racist U.S. authorities and her own demons.   

The Mauritanian, great, restrained flick about a wrongfully imprisoned man stuck in Guantanamo for years.  Also loved Jodie Foster. 

Antebellum, fascinating, surprising allegory of how the legacy of racism impacts on the present day.  Modern day queer goddess Janelle Monáe is stunning in the lead role.

Ammonite, interesting watch, Kate Winslet can do no wrong, not riveting but still I had no difficulty finishing it. 

The Social Dilemma, a completely accessible documentary with dramatizations that make clear to the masses how social media giants like Facebook have been not only hurting all of us, but undermining democracy itself. 

The Father, a thoroughly depressing and unnecessary portrait of the experience of the onset of Alzheimer's Disease by its protagonist.  Yes, this was superbly conceived and produced and deserving of its artistic accolades.  Yes, Anthony Hopkins' acting was probably the most deserving of the Best Actor Oscar, even though I can't help but regret he beat out sentimental favourite Chadwick Boseman.  Regardless of this film's strengths, it should be avoided by most people (especially people who've lost lost ones to diseases like this) unless you want to depress yourself.  Not too many of us are looking for more depressing experiences now or ever.  

The Trial of the Chicago 7, I'm not a fan of Aaron Sorkin's writing, it's always too showy, too smart for its own good.  Plus scenes in this flick kept repeating over and over, perhaps it was true to the actual trial transcripts but it was annoying.  Sacha Baron Cohen did bring his dialogue to life, as did many, but I didn't buy Eddie Redmayne in this for a second, he kept trying to seem likeable and palatable to the masses, miscast in my opinion. 

News of the World, what's with older straight male directors obsessing this year over relationships between old white straight dudes and prepubescent girls who don't speak much if at all?  Still I enjoyed Tom Hanks in this flick which was interesting some of the time.  

Death to 2020!, the tonic we needed at the end of last year.  

Love and Monsters, its special effects are superb and made me squeamish when I watched the trailer, I almost didn't start it.  But Dylan O'Brien's gorgeous talents and a friend's recommendation helped me press play and I wasn't let down.  Lots of fun.  

Still Processing, a short film by Sophy Romvari I saw at TIFF 2020, this really moved and impacted me with its unique portrait of the director coming to terms with her family's tragic past.

Greyhound, great little WWII flick about the Battle of the Atlantic, gripping, well-done. 

Uncle Frank, didn't break much ground but superbly acted and lovely all around. 

Summer of '85, the hottest French boys you could imagine have a tortured affair, mostly pointless though, so it needed either way more story or way more nudity to be memorable.  

Ava, I could stare at Jessica Chastain, aka 'Brandy' in this flick forever.  A lot of fun. 

Hillbilly Elegy, finally watched it and liked it, although Glenn Close's best moments don't happen until near the end, but was glad when they did.  Still, this movie wasn't good enough to win Oscars, so sadly Glenn will be empty-handed again on April 25, I predict.

Escape from Pretoria, lovely Daniel Radcliffe doing lovely things in a South African prison, get your minds out of the gutter. 

Cherry, I had no idea this film contains uber hottie Tom Holland's first nude scenes, which make this film a landmark.  But sadly, the film is otherwise godawful.  So I recommend you just search for the Holland nude clips online and skip this torturous depiction of two loser addicts.     

Falling, a bit too tortured of an experience, can't really recommend it. 

Songbird, not the greatest, a bit too timely this portrait of a love affair during a horrendous pandemic, but this flick gives us the first look at KJ Apa's beautiful butt, so I'll forgive it for anything. 

Rebecca, meh.

Want to see as soon as possible:

Da 5 Bloods

Pieces of a Woman

MLK/FBI

On The Rocks

French Exit

Possessor

Disappointing: 

The Boys in the Band (remake)

The Midnight Sky

New Gay Short Film Trailer - “The Big Snore”

I'm thrilled to release the trailer for my new short film The Big Snore on YouTube.

Yes, you read that title correctly.  But I can assure you the film will not put you to sleep - quite the contrary.  It will make you laugh, turn you on, and warm your heart, when it's finally released.

The film is about a light sleeper who struggles one night to get some rest amid his man's loud snores.  While the story is not auto-biographical, it was, of course, inspired by real life experiences.  My husband Sam informs me that I'm an occasional snorer, as I can attest he is as well. 

This is the culmination of months of work.  I raised money for this project last fall and was very proud to get most of my budget from that fundraising.  Thank you so much to everyone who generously donated.

With that funding, I hired a great crew and we shot this little story in one day in November.  I especially want to thank my two lovely, awesome actors, Scotty Murray and James Chapman, for their great performances.  My cinematographer Adam Seward brought so much talent to this project including the beautiful colour treatment.  Even Sam helped out with everything that shoot day, including set decoration.  He asked specifically for the credit 'Set Decoration & Bitch,' and that's the credit he's received.  I love you, baby.    

Post production work started a few days after the shoot and finished in early March.  A special thank you to George Kallika for his hard work on the sound mix as well as the music!

I also submitted the film to the Canadian Filmmakers Distribution Centre (CFMDC), a not-for-profit distributor of Canadian queer short films (among other films in their collection), and I am thrilled that they have added my film to their queer film festival catalogue.  As such, they will be submitting it to film festivals around the world over the next year or so (they only submit to film festivals which pay screening fees, of which the CFMDC will take 30% should I get programmed.  The bonus for me is I will save a lot of time and money by not having to submit the film myself to dozens of film festivals.) 

Then, of course, Covid-19 hit us all in mid-March.  And as we know, most film festivals in the immediate future are postponed until the summer or fall.  So, the public release of The Big Snore will have to wait.  I do hope that it will be programmed into film festivals, should they happen, this summer or fall.  My fingers are crossed.  My longer term plan has always been to eventually publish a censored version of the film on YouTube after its festival run is completed, unless of course an exclusive distributor wants to purchase the rights first. 

But in the mean time, I'm very happy to share the trailer on YouTube and of course on this blog.

 

Canadian TV masterpiece "Schitt's Creek" comes to an end...

Billboard promoting Schitt's Creek this season

I just want to write a quick shout-out to the great TV comedy Schitt's Creek, which is coming to a series end this Tuesday April 7th. 

Beautifully written, produced, directed, and acted, this quirky little show has become a major hit across the world since being picked up by Netflix (after a few years of decent success on CBC in Canada and Pop in the U.S.) 

I've always been a hard sell when it comes to new television shows, perhaps particularly Canadian shows.  The premise of this one - a rich family loses everything and is forced to relocate to a remote town they bought years ago as a joke - didn't especially intrigue me.  But man, was I wrong about this one!! 

After so much good word of mouth, I finally took the plunge alongside my partner watching the pilot episode just over a year ago courtesy of Netflix.  We were absolutely hooked after the first episode.  I was particularly intrigued by the pan-sexual / queer character of adult son David, played by the uber-talented Dan Levy, who created and wrote the show alongside his famous father Eugene who also plays patriarch Johnny Rose.  The incredible and hilarious talents of Catherine O'Hara as matriarch Moira Rose and Annie Murphy as daughter Alexis Rose round out the beloved family.  A wide array of characters played by superb actors surround them.  In six seasons, the laugh-out-loud jokes have been abundant.  

If you've got Netflix, I highly recommend you give it a shot as soon as possible.  It is perfect TV binge material, particularly for these hard times.  I'd describe each episode as 22 minutes of sublime joy! 

The best part of the show for me has been its portrayal of the romance between son David and his handsome fiance Patrick, played by the adorable Noah Reid.  The queer content has been so matter of fact, so nonchalant, it has been a wonderful breath of fresh air.  The unconditional acceptance and support the couple has received from David's family has been one of this show's treasures. Another treasure has been the frequent sight in recent months of the giant billboards featuring the lovely same sex couple kissing (seen above.)

Do yourself a favour and watch Schitt's Creek in its entirety as soon as possible.  (The sixth and final season is only still playing on CBC Gem or Pop, but it should show up on Netflix hopefully as soon as possible.)  In the mean time, here is one of my favourite moments of the entire show:

Pete Buttigieg, first openly gay presidential candidate to win a state caucus, drops out of the race

Former Indiana mayor Pete Buttigieg

I have mixed feelings about tonight's news that Pete Buttigieg, the openly gay former mayor of South Bend, Indiana, and upstart Democratic presidential candidate, is dropping out of the race. 

At a time like this, I want to be more generous and focus on the immensely positive aspects of his historic candidacy. Buttigieg did smash considerable barriers by building up his national campaign into what it became.  Just over a year ago, most observers dismissed the candidacy of the openly gay incumbent mayor of a small city in the midwest with a name tough to pronounce and no state-wide election victories under his belt. 

They weren't dismissing him in recent months.  Buttigieg built a national team that pulled out all the stops to take flight.  And it did for a while.  His victory in the Iowa caucus last month was a historic moment for the first major openly gay presidential candidate.  That's something to respect.  

The handsome man with piercing blue eyes and a clearly brilliant mind offered a fresh, outside-the-Beltway perspective on national politics.  His life story including his experience as a soldier as well as his religious faith, made him a unique candidate on the ballot.  There were times I could see how it could be possible he could win this thing, either this year or (more than likely) in future years. 

Still, his lack of experience at the state or national level made his candidacy a harder sell.  He struggled to expand his support beyond white communities.   Many people of colour communities viewed him as just the latest media concoction of a smooth talker who says the right things but never really delivers for them.  

Some of his best ideas, such as getting rid of the Electoral College or embracing Medicare for All, seemed to disappear the longer he continued to hold exclusive fundraisers with wealthy contributors.  In a year defined by the anti-establishment politics of Bernie Sanders, Buttigieg seemed little more than a retread of the types of politicians who did little in the past for the working class, only this time in a younger, cuter, millennial package.  It was interesting that the 38-year-old failed to pick up much young support, as we've seen in polling and exit polls.

In the end, while I enjoyed many of Buttigieg's speeches earlier in his campaign, he lately came across to me as a bit smarmy and overly-rehearsed.  I found him hard to relate to on a number of levels, despite him being gay and white, about 10 years my junior.  Perhaps it was his high-minded, managerial personality which reminded me of certain gay men I can't stand much.  His coziness with the establishment and big donors seemed completely at odds with what America needs right now.  

Still, I have to admire the guy.  There's no doubt he's got a future in politics.  It may be too late this year for him to re-calibrate his efforts and seek a different office like the Indiana Governor's mansion.  But it would certainly win him more fans were he to actually take down some horrid Indiana Republican as soon as possible.  

The timing in withdrawing today is likely meant to benefit other moderates remaining in the Democratic race on Super Tuesday.  This might help deny Bernie Sanders as many delegates as he would've won with the moderate middle splintered by Buttigieg's support.  We'll see if Amy Klobuchar does the same thing before Tuesday (probably not.)

My Favourite Films of 2019 - UPDATED AGAIN

Scene from Parasite

Sometimes making a list of one's favourite films for the previous year shortly after New Year's Eve can be a fool's game.  Sometimes movies need a bit of time to fester in my mind before their true greatness is realized.  Sometimes it takes the intense love expressed by others for me to truly open my eyes and get past my own initial hangups about a movie.  That happened to me this year with the masterpiece Parasite.

When I first saw it in November 2019, I was initially a bit disappointed with it.  I hadn't enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed Boon Jong Ho's previous films including Okja or Snowpiercer.  It was that disappointment accompanied by a distrust of group consensus that prevented me from appreciating Parasite that much for several more weeks.

Yes, the Oscars refocused my mind, I must admit.  They so rarely do, but this year was an exception when the most inspiring, original and fearless flick took the top prize, not only for Best International Film, but also Best Picture.  Had I missed something?  Yes, apparently.  I re-watched Parasite a week later with a friend, accompanied with some booze.  And to my joy, the second viewing was as delightful a second viewing one could hope for.  I found myself loving all the fine details of the piece, laughing as it unfolded, then switched gears and genres half-way, and approached its astonishing and thought-provoking conclusion.  I was hooked.  A third viewing the next week with another friend made me realize I had made a mistake with my Top Ten Favourites list of 2019.    

I've finally gotten around to updating this post to accurately reflect, for posterity, what I truly think about the films of 2019.  Parasite is very much my favourite film of the year.  Yes, 1917 was astonishing, but also just a very good war flick, the sort of which we've seen many times before.  I still am very glad I put Ad Astra very close to the top of my list.  I do love it more than 1917, after all.  It will remain my guilty sci-fi pleasure of 2019 as well.  

I have always amended my Top Ten list in years past.  This year was no different, although I will admit that I've never changed my list this much, this long after the year's end.  Is it cheating as a film lover to only truly appreciate a film after the Oscars anoint it the best?  Maybe.  My changing mind about Parasite has been instructive to me: I should try to keep a more open mind when watching the films I do and try better to put aside all prejudices and simply let them wash over me.  Perhaps I would've loved Parasite much sooner.

Without further ado, here are my top picks of 2019:

1. Parasite: Superb and unforgettable social commentary and satire, so relevant to our times that it stings the senses while still feeling enjoyable and entertaining, this film portrays a working class family that gradually takes over the various "help" jobs in a rich Korean family home.  The plot twists are amazing.  The artistry is so impeccable, I'm slightly ashamed I didn't appreciate this masterpiece earlier than I did.  Yes, it took the Oscars to make me realize how I had erred not putting this flick higher on my own list.  After four viewings (with more planned), this is no doubt my favourite of 2019.  

2. Ad Astra: I'm a sucker for artsy, philosophical sci-fi flicks.  With gorgeous cinematography, uber cool art direction, plus haunting, soothing, symphonic music, stellar visual effects (which here easily best those of the recent First Man), and a lovely performance by its beautiful, likeable, but complicated lead (in this case, Brad Pitt), this film takes its place among the best in the genre, in my opinion.  This is magnificent work by writer-director James Gray, whose last film, The Lost City of Z, I loved and recommend as well.

3. 1917: I'm also a sucker for great, historical war films, especially those with tremendous heart.  Throw in some handsome young leads, including George MacKay, and breathtaking cinematography, and it's cinematic ecstasy for me.  Roger Deakins' work in this film as DOP is a must-see.  The continuous, long shots are awesome to behold.  The acting is stupendous.  The direction by Sam Mendes among his best accomplishments.  I liked this one better than Dunkirk, which says a lot.

4. Us: Better than Get Out in many ways, this stunningly original, chilling story, also by writer-director Jordan Peele, about a family stalked by mysterious strangers who look exactly like them is not one I'll ever forget, including its sensational, jaw-dropping ending.  Lupita Nyong'o plays both mothers to perfection.

5. Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood: I must admit I love most of Quentin Tarantino's films.  I don't usually mind the extreme violence he indulges in as long as it's brief and serves a purpose, typically comedic.  Who could really object to seeing Hitler blown to bits in Inglourious Basterds, after all?  This is a sweet masterpiece, in typical Tarantino style, but also very heartfelt.

6. Portrait of a Lady on Fire: The queer film of 2019, without a doubt.  I caught this film at TIFF and was thankful I chose it.  The story follows the slow-burning romance between an 18th century young French female painter and her muse, a young woman whose wedding portrait she is commissioned to create.  Beautifully directed by Celina Sciamma, watching this story unfurl was a delight, especially the final scene at the orchestra with Antonio Vivaldi's Concerto No 2 in G minor.  Wow.

THE REST OF MY TOP 13:

7. Jojo Rabbit: Great historical satire about the banalities of hate.  Unforgettable.

8. Captain Marvel: Brie Larson kicks ass in this super hero origin flick that is totally original and extremely funny.  The special effects used to make Samuel L. Jackson look like a 30-something are far better than anything seen in The Irishman.

9. Harriet: Stunning and urgent historical drama about Harriet Tubman, one of America's greatest heroes of the Underground Railroad.  Cynthia Erivo is sensational in the lead role.  Definitely a masterpiece.

10. Marvel's Avengers: Endgame: A perfect finale to this saga. I've hesitated to elevate super hero films to my top ten list in the past.  But screw it: I'm a nerd who loves these flicks.

11. Spider-Man: Far From Home: The most entertaining Spider-Man flick I've seen. Plus Tom Holland and Jake Gyllenhaal make the perfect onscreen duo, even though all the homo-eroticism was definitely in my head.

12. The Best of Enemies: An expertly acted and crafted story that proves even the worst racists among us are capable of changing and the best way to bring somebody over from the dark side is not to insult and castigate them, but reach out to them with compassion.  Even if compassion is the last thing you think they deserve.

13. Pain & Glory: A lovely and inspiring addition to Pedro Almodovar's repetoire, with a superb performance by Antonio Banderas.

FOLLOWED BY, IN ORDER OF EXCELLENCE:
Yesterday 
Rocketman 
Little Women
Bombshell
The Two Popes
Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker
The Report
A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood
Judy

Lucy in the Sky

Marriage Story

Joker
The Irishman
Knives Out
Clemency
Incitement
Terminally In Love (a short film I saw at the Inside Out film festival in Toronto, mesmerizing, trippy, funny, unforgettable)
War Movie (another short film I saw at Inside Out)
Thrive (another short film I saw at Inside Out.)
Ma
The Blonde One
Just Mercy
My Zoe
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil

STILL NEED TO SEE, IN ORDER OF PRIORITY: 
Apollo 11
Queen & Slim 
The Lighthouse
The Aeronauts
The Laundromat
Seberg
The Farewell
Tolkien

DISAPPOINTING: 
On the Basis of Sex
The Obituary of Tunde Johnson
X-Men: Dark Phoenix