New Indiegogo campaign launched to raise funds for my new short film, "Big Snore"

Actor Scotty Murray during auditions for Big Snore

Today, I launched a three-week Indiegogo campaign to help raise much-needed funds for my new narrative short film, Big Snore.  I hope that you might consider helping me out!  

As many will know, I've been working part-time on film projects for over ten years.   My first success was co-writing and helping produce a beautiful short film, The Golden Pin, back in 2009 with director Cuong Ngo (the link to view the film is on the right.)  I also worked with Ngo on his first feature film, Pearls of the Far East, as an additional writer and associate producer.

In 2015, I finally decided to overcome my fears and take on a project as director.  The result was the short narrative film called Tri-Curious, a comedy about how last minute anxiety threatens to ruin a young couple's first threesome together.  It was an awesome experience and I remain very thankful to those artists and friends who shared their talents with me making that film, and to those individuals who donated generously to the Indiegogo campaign that helped finance it.

Tri-Curious played in several international film festivals, it earned over 1.5 million views on YouTube before it was exclusively licensed by gay streaming service Dekkoo, and released on a DVD compilation by TLA Releasing. 

Since then, I've literally spent the last couple of years contemplating what kinds of film projects to do next.   Making something that authentically expresses my values as an artist and a human being is very important to me.

INSPIRATION FOR THIS NEW FILM: 

As I detail on my new Indiegogo campaign page, inspiration for Big Snore happened one late night last year when I was lying next to my partner Samuel in bed while he slept.  I've always been a light sleeper, easily awoken.  Samuel, on the other hand, is a heavy sleeper who occasionally snores. (In truth, Samuel tells me I occasionally snore as well.)

That night, I couldn't find rest as his snores were unusually loud.  I struggled, I shifted in bed often, I took a sleeping pill.  Momentary frustration eventually gave way to inner peace when I remembered how lucky I am to be able to share my bed and my life with this wonderful man!  "What would I do if you ever stopped breathing?" I whispered.  Suddenly, EUREKA!  This could be my new story!  This could be an idea that I can carry all the way to production and beyond.  This story could say something I'd like to say about relationships and love in general.  Inspired, I soon fell asleep and slept like a baby.

I've been working on the script and preparing for this shoot since.  The script details one night in the life of a young gay couple, one of whom snores very badly, the other a light sleeper who struggles to get some needed rest.

I'm not one to spend months drafting up applications and waiting for responses from public funding agencies.  I've found such endeavours in the past to be somewhat futile, especially since competition for such dollars is so fierce.  For now, I'm hoping that this crowd-funding campaign will raise the necessary funds to give some compensation to my actors and crew, as well as fund the film's crucial post-production sound design.

One of my ambitions as a storyteller is to normalize the lives and experiences of LGBTQ people, without whitewashing the elements of our lives that make us unique.  All audiences want stories that are honest but also connect with them emotionally.   I'm hopeful that Big Snore will earn many chuckles and nods of appreciation from all audiences.

I hope you might consider contributing to this project.

Re-engaging after yesterday's hateful march against my own community in Toronto and the inspired counter-protest

I haven't written anything here since June when I expressed my new love and support for Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren (a love and support that has only grown stronger.)

My focus these last few months has been strengthening my own day-to-day life and perhaps even enjoying it more. You could say I was being selfish.  Few if any issues in Canada had inspired me to write, despite a lot of course happening as it always does.  I have also disengaged from social media especially Facebook.  I have found myself avoiding most of the new social media platforms that have invaded our lives these last years.  I had been foolish with some of my engagements on those platforms.  I had angered others and undermined some of my own relationships.  I was worried some of my efforts at communication were being seen as shrill.

So instead, I've chosen to disengage.  To step back and re-evaluate.  To try to focus more on real life experiences rather than virtual ones.  But disengaging from these platforms cuts one off from the ways our modern world communicates these days.  Perhaps retreat is not the answer.  Perhaps figuring out how to fight, how to love, how to support each other in this online world is our new real life.

I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't hear about both yesterday's hateful march that tried to move up Church Street in Toronto, and the much larger counter protest defending love and the LGBTQ community, until afterwards.  The counter-protest defended my community by moving down Church Street from a rally outside the 519 Community Centre shortly before noon yesterday.  It had been organized in response to a planned march up Church Street of religious bigots who wanted to bring their hate to the heart of the Church and Wellesley neighbourhood.  The counter-protesters were going to have none of that.  They managed to create a massive human barrier on Church Street south of King Street.  The police barricaded both sides, which managed to stall the bigots from heading north of Wellington Street and perhaps cause physical violence (on top of the spiritual violence they were already spouting).  Streets were shut down for hours until the group of bigots dispersed and went back to whatever miserable lives they are leading.  

All of this drama happened before I even heard about it.  How could that happen?  I'm sad to think that my withdrawal has made me blind to the planning of these events.  Facebook invites from the 519 or other groups would've made clear the plans to counter the bigots.  I missed them and I'm ashamed. 

Yesterday's planned march against LGBTQ people wasn't a surprise.  It was planned by evangelist preacher David Lynn, who was arrested in June at the start of Pride month for causing a disturbance after attempting to preach hate in the Village and sparking loud and angry confrontations with local citizens.   Imagine a white supremacist taking his hatred to the heart of the Black community, then complaining about being silenced when he gets shouted down.  He was lucky he didn't get punched.  This kind of aggressive religious bigotry is becoming more common.   Yesterday's march was just the latest manifestation of it.  The haters have been emboldened in recent years by the likes of Donald Trump and powerful conservatives like him.  A misplaced sense of victimhood, arrogance, and bigotry is a toxic mix.
 
In recent years, I've not been overly comfortable as a protester.  I'm not one to make signs and march out on the streets, although I have been definitely an activist in other ways.  I did march and chant in the streets when I was a young adult but it's less my style now.  I engage here and there politically when it comes to the big picture and get involved on the occasional campaign.  But it has rarely been fulfilling in recent years.  But some causes are still worth marching for.  Yesterday would've been one of them.  This was literally an attack by hate-filled bigots in my own neighbourhood.  Their signs would've marched up Church Street right past my home had they not been stopped further south.  

I need to re-engage now.  I need to start making more of an effort to take part and be active in my community in a real way.  I need to find the energy after work to go to meetings I've been avoiding in recent years.  I need to seek out more opportunities to turn my passion and interest and support into something more than likes on Facebook.  There are opportunities to have real human connections, perhaps in marches, perhaps at other grassroots events, perhaps in Pride parades with folks just like me.

I need to get out of this funk and start to see the value in my own contributions again.  I need to find my inner activist again.  I need to write more, something I truly love to do. 

Congratulations and thank you to those great people who did get out there yesterday to defend our community against the bigots.  Who heard about it and took action.  I wish I had been there with you.  I hope to be there next time.  

Heartfelt and authentic Elton John biopic "Rocketman" soars in ways "Bohemian Rhapsody" disappointed

Taron Egerton as Elton John in Rocketman

I caught the new feature film Rocketman at the opening night of Toronto's Inside Out LGBT Film Festival last week and loved it.

As Elton John, actor Taron Egerton (previously most famous for the Kingsman spy thrillers) delivers the best performance I've ever seen him give, embodying the musical icon with such heart and authenticity, he rivals Rami Malek's performance as Freddie Mercury in 2018's Bohemian Rhapsody.  In fact, Egerton does his own amazing singing, which gives him one up on Malek (who lip synced), if you ask me.  Egerton is the best thing about this entertaining flick.

I quite agree with this Daily Beast piece: "Rocketman lends a dignity to John’s feelings about his sexuality where Rhapsody disgraces and even demonizes Mercury’s struggle. And while Rhapsody manipulated facts of Mercury’s sexuality and AIDS diagnosis to manufacture an emotional climax in the Live Aid finale, there’s no such bastardizing in Rocketman."

There are an awful lot of tears, but even more laughs in this flick as the emotional struggles of addiction take their toll on Elton John's life.  Most in the audience, straight or queer, will relate on some level.  You can do justice to a superstar's life without making stuff up, plus structure a good film and entertain an audience all at the same time, who would've thought?

Rocketman's strengths put the flaws of Bohemian Rhapsody into clearer focus for me.

I did enjoy much of Bohemian Rhapsody, please don't get me wrong.  Malek was brilliant, the scenes of Queen producing their music in studio were cool, and the final concert scene at Live Aid was rapturous.  (Rocketman's scenes depicting Elton John's spontaneous writing, especially crafting "Your Song" at the piano, also hit such awesomeness.)

But I quietly resented all the praise some straight people gave Bohemian Rhapsody because it was obvious many didn't really notice or even question how that film "treated (Mercury's) sexuality as a predatory gateway drug to a destructive lifestyle."  I had hoped to learn something awesome about Mercury we didn't already know - but instead it was just a story about how a sad and selfish gay man turns his back on his straight Queen band members and collapses into disaster and contracts AIDS because of it.  I also didn't appreciate the dozens of minutes spent watching Mercury flirt with his first wife in the first hour of the film, while the love of his life, the man who stood by him during his final years struggling with AIDS, was reduced to a final act footnote.  It was insulting. 

After experiencing that disappointment, Rocketman is such a satisfying experience. 

I'll be very curious if all the Queen fans who heaped such praise on Bohemian Rhapsody do the same thing for what I consider at least as good a film in Rocketman.  Many will.  All of them should.

It opens in theatres this weekend.  Please check it out. 

Close vote against police might just revive Toronto Pride's progressive legacy

An overwhelming grassroots vote against the police participation in Pride Toronto a couple years ago has now evolved into a near split vote.

Grassroots Pride Toronto members participated in a community vote tonight, both online and in person at a special meeting at Ryerson, and the result was 163 to 161 against police in uniform returning to Toronto Pride anytime soon.   There were claims that a last minute influx of members might tip the balance in favour of the cops.  But that didn't make the difference as supporters of the police ban still won the day.

If this community is this divided on the issue, it's clear that the status quo keeping the police out needs to remain for now.  There's no grassroots push to bring the cops back. 

I've struggled to decide how I feel about this issue.  On the one hand, I see a ban as hopelessly divisive and somewhat counter-productive.  On the other hand, letting police in would send a terrible message that we don't care that much about the near failure by the police as an organization to atone for their immense failures and injustices against the LGBTQ community (and other communities).

We do care deeply.   Those opposed to the police returning to a community festival that originated as a political protest against oppression (still perpetuated on a regular basis by the police and their allies) have made impassioned arguments that I find impossible to refute.  

So this vote will stand for the foreseeable future.  Let's continue to debate and engage in our local community.  I wrote late last year that Pride Toronto seemed a mess as an organization.   Perhaps this grassroots vote will again revive its progressive legacy. 

Let's get on with it. 

Ontario, and indeed all decent public school systems, have an obligation to challenge homophobia with an inclusive curriculum

The ongoing legal fight in Ontario over Doug Ford's decision to placate a small group of social conservative extremists hellbent on denying a safe environment for LGBTQ kids in our public schools grabbed our attention this week. 

I'm proud of the parents, activists and groups who are leading this legal charge to return the modernized curriculum to our classrooms. 

This great article by Martin Regg Cohn sums up the situation nicely, putting it in full context. 

It's not enough for these conservative folks fighting the modern curriculum that they have always had the ability to remove their kids from sex education public school lessons (even though in my mind their kids most certainly need to learn them considering the backwards homes they are growing up in.)  I can only think of the lasting damage caused to any unfortunate, lonely LGBTQ kids living in those homes by their parents' actions.

Yes it is important to protect kids from abuse, both in their homes and their schools.  I firmly support the ability of greater society to create inclusive and healthy public school environments for all of us.    

When I was a kid growing up, I was luckily in a family not too conservative.  My family was fairly typical for the time period of the 1980s and 1990s.  Since I came out of the closet to them all, our family situation has been pretty great, glad to say.

But high school was an awful experience, trying to survive amid the hotbed of homophobia that was mainstream back then.  Social isolation was the rule of the day.  Suicide was contemplated on occasion, but somehow I made it through without ever trying.  Perhaps the faint hope of some kind of future as a gay adult kept me alive.  Yet there was, of course, barely any mention of LGBT lives in my classrooms.  Homosexuality came up on occasion.  Most students were hostile to gay folk.  Teachers, on the other hand, never indoctrinated or perpetuated ignorance or discrimination, even in my Catholic school environment.

Yet overall, the environment was hostile with the threat of social isolation constant.  I always knew that our schools and indeed our curriculum urgently needed to take proactive action to challenge rampant homophobia.  A few visits to public schools in decades since, with the frequent casual use of "gay" and "fag" and "dyke" overheard in hallways, reinforced this need.  We know bullying remains a crisis in our schools.  Not to mention the various new issues kids are now facing.  

Finally in 2015, the curriculum was updated and, among other advancements, mentions of LGBTQ people were added.  It was long overdue.

This is why I'm so angry about what Doug Ford and the Ontario PCs have done.  They have bowed to bigotry and ignorance.  By reverting to the old curriculum which erases LGBTQ people from any official mention, then threatening teachers with a snitch website, the message was clear.   It matters not that months later Crown prosecutors are backtracking, claiming teachers still have the right to use the 2015 curriculum as a resource.

Shame on Doug Ford and the conservatives who have empowered him in this awful decision.  If this year's "consultation" simply returns most or all of the 2015 curriculum to our province's classrooms, then this process has been a sham.  But I have no trust in Ford or his colleagues to do the right thing.

Hence, why the court fight is crucial.  I hope the good side prevails.