Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Goodbye 'Movember'! Hello 'ABSTA-VEMBER' in 2012!

I am so glad to see 'Movember' come to an end. Yes, raising awareness and funds in the fight against prostate cancer is a great cause and I'm glad they raised so much of it in Canada and elsewhere this month.

The problem with 'Movember', at least for me, is it encourages men to grow disgusting and outdated facial hair. Let me be clear about my own personal bias: I hate facial hair on men. I've been known to utter, 'Facial hair is for the Taliban,' as a means to demonize the practice and encourage progressive males to give up growing it.

As most women and gay men already know, facial hair is painful on the fair cheeks of loved ones forced to kiss or get close with men who choose to grow beards or moustaches or what have you. If facial hair isn't grating on your skin, it's getting stuck between your teeth. Gross.

Nowadays, thankfully, beards or goatees are more in style than the lone moustache. Yet this Movember campaign is a throwback to the 1970s. I noticed several attractive men this past month who reminded me of 70s gay porn stars. I was half-expecting these guys to strip down and engage in condom-free sex, but alas it didn’t happen (at least not in front of me.)

The ugliness of moustaches continues to be lost on many men. Take Justin Trudeau for example, one of the more high profile Canadians to grow a moustache this month. He told CBC News he plans to keep the moustache he grew for Movember until the New Year: "I'm quite attached to it, and more importantly, my wife doesn't mind it to a most heinous degree...So I think we're doing OK."

She doesn't mind it to a 'most heinous degree'? So you're okay with keeping it. Typical straight male response: I like it, you hate it, it stays.

I think women need to respond to this bizarre campaign with a new, equally inconsiderate campaign of their own. How about a new campaign next November to coincide with 'Movember' to raise awareness and funds for a cancer that affects only women?

I offer you my proposal for such a campaign: 'Absta-vember'. Next November, women everywhere should raise awareness and funds to help in the fight against cervical cancer by abstaining from sexual relations for the entire month. Extra points should be given to those women who have male partners who are participating in growing gross moustaches as part of Movember.

The more I think of it, the more brilliant it sounds: 'Absta-vember'. I am only half-kidding. I'm not about to launch such a campaign, but merely write about it here to (1) send the message that the main exercise of growing moustaches, even for good causes, is gross, and (2) perhaps inspire women out there to respond in kind.

Although these women already seem to have picked up on a similar idea.

Moustaches are gross. Goodbye, Movember!

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